Well - what I figured was gonna happen, happened. The show is cancelled.
It just happened a lot sooner than I'd hoped - I was digging prep, and excited to continue on with my makeshift McGyver home gym - but, this is probably for the best.
6.5 weeks of prep down - I managed to cut 8lbs and several inches off my frame. It was enough to get a good sense of what my physique is looking like this year - and I'm happy. It can only get better from here. I know that an extended off-season is only going to help me bring something better to the stage - likely in 2021 - and when that time comes, you bet your ass I'm gonna deliver something deserving of a Pro Qualifier stage.
I'm trying to find the positives in this whole thing - though, admittedly, that process has been tough. This wasn't just 6.5 weeks in to prep for me - this was essentially 9 months in to prep... I've been gunning for 2020 since I stepped off the stage last June. I've worked harder in this most recent off-season than ever before... my eyes were ALWAYS on the prize, every. damn. day. But THAT work ethic, will continue... and THAT work ethic, is what will help me bring an even better package to the stage the next time I get up there.
I've been up in my feelings a lot this past week - trying to wrap my head around the loss of this thing that was really keeping my spirits UP through all of this COVID BS. I felt prepared emotionally and mentally but - when I actually came to terms with the FACT that prep was off - disappointment definitely washed over me.
Much soul searching ensued...
And what I landed on was this:
There is so much more to life - and so many other things to find joy in - to spark happiness - outside of the gym and competing... BIG PICTURE HERE. It's easy to lose sight of that when you're so laser focussed on one goal.
This may just be the universe providing a mental/physical break before the next prep.
I'm sorry to whomever is reading this (do people actually read this?) for getting the prep series all hyped up and then not delivering. Trust me when I say, my return will be even better - the next prep series is gonna be FIRE!
Please feel free to reach out to me if you ever have questions, need to bounce ideas off of someone, or just need an ear during this very confusing, convoluted time... we will get through, and we will rise again.