After my horrific workout yesterday, I was totally disheartened to wake up feeling exhausted and drained YET AGAIN today. All I could think was: "Is this what I'm in for for the next 11.5 weeks? - if so, am I even capable of doing this?"
The way I was feeling - no single day, let alone 5 minutes on stage is worth 11 weeks of this shit.
I was supposed to knock out 300 calories on the stairs this morning but - I literally could not summon the energy to even put my gym clothes on.
I can't even describe how I felt. I just felt old, feeble, diseased. I felt like my body weighed 3x more than it actually does - my legs were like bricks walking to the kitchen to get my morning cup o' joe. My joints all ached. My muscles hurt. I felt dizzy - everything was out of focus.
I did not feel "right".
Thank the sweet baby lord, as I was going through my emails over my morning breakfast - I came across my coaches response to yesterday's check in. It contained those 3 sweet words every girl loves to hear - "Take a Refeed". 350g of carbs, baby!
On top of the refeed which I KNEW would help immensely - I knew I had to do something else to whip myself out of this funk - so I promptly shut down all electronics, nixxed my cardio sesh, and decided to take a ME day.
I took my dog for a huge walk in the sun - and left my headphones at home so, for a change, I could focus on the world around me. I let the pup get as muddy as he wanted. I took my time. Took in the sights. The smells. BREATHED.
Then I got home - and cleaned my entire house. I find cleaning so therapeutic for some reason (I'm a weirdo). I took a long, hot shower with all my fanciest soaps. Did my makeup. My hair. Put my favourite perfume on. Again, took my sweet time with everything - making sure to focus on the tiniest details.
I got dressed in my comfiest clothes.
Then I went to the store and picked up some items for the refeed. I had no set plan, I just went - took my time, read labels, and picked out what struck my fancy.
When I got home from the store, I fixed myself a hot cup of tea and sat by the window in my living room with a book. I have not done that for ... actually.... I can't rememebr the last time I did that.
Then... I ate. I ate 7 chocolate chip rice cakes in a ROW - and it was worth every one of those 420 calories, I tell ya.
As the day went on, and the food was eaten- I felt my energy return. I felt life come back to me. I felt the negativity I had been feeling the last few days LIFT - and my strength come back. I felt like ME again.
It was exactly the kind of day I needed - and long overdue.
And I feel a TRILLION times better than I did this morning. I am ready to go again. Tomorrow is deadlift day and I'm ready to hit it HARD.
Don't forget about YOU. Take time out for YOU. Take a day off for YOU. There is absolutely zero shame in needing a personal day. We're all human - and it's easy to get caught up in the go-go-go of life. Sometimes you just need to power down, in order to re-charge.