I Need a Win and I Needs it NOW

Weight was up to 129.0 after the refeed yesterday - and also from being on my feet all day walking around town. My knees were so swollen I could actually squish the water around with my fingers. So there's that! LOL!

My body is just hating me right now. I'm bloated. Swollen. Sore. You reach a point in prep where it becomes unhealthy and unsustainable.

I miss my energy so so so very much. I miss my strength.

I am so eager to get back to a bigger variety of foods. I'm burning out.

This has been the theme of the week.

I'm feeling ok though - despite my strength and energy taking a hit this week, I'm feeling positive.

I went out and started purchasing some items for my "show day bag" - which renewed my excitement. It was a nice reminder that I'm not too far off now.

Honestly, I'm not sure how some folks are able to compete more than once per year. After this, I need a LOOOONNNNGGG off season.

It ain't easy!!!

Had a rough pull session today - and I feel bad because normally, I'm perfectly happy to be social at the gym. But today, it was a headphones in, head down, hat on, don't look at anyone or anything kind of workout -

Yet another reason I'm really not liking this part of prep. I'm just not myself.

*rambles*