Kait, meet WALL.

Well F me. It happened. I've hit my wall.

Energy is NIL. Thank the sweet baby lawd I workout in the AM - it seems to be the only time I have gas in the tank this week.

I left everything at the gym today - meaning all of my energy. I put every ounce of juice in to my workout today - and I was practically dead the rest of the day.

It took everything inside of me to take Russ for his usual hike this evening.

Squeezed in a nap this afternoon and it made me feel worse. More drained if that's even possible.

These are the days that truly suck you dry. You feel like a walking corpse. These are the days that make you question why you're doing what you're doing. Because they SUCK. With no energy - no lust for life - feeling brain foggy all day long - it's depressing. And I don't wish it on anyone.

I hate feeling how I'm feeling - especially when I know food is the cure. More calories, more energy... will fix me.

But I can't eat. Not now anyway.


I know that come show day - these days are worth it. The grind is 100% worth it. And I didn't know that last time around - and I still pushed through.

This time, I have that knowledge with me. I KNOW when all is said and done, the extremely low-low's are WORTH it.

I just have to keep pushing.

The upside to all of this happening NOW - is in talking with my coach - and being where I am physique-wise (pretty much there) - we're likely going to be able to start increasing calories soon.

And that's two fold.

ONE - my energy is gonna go back up, which will in turn, help me continue to burn more calories - and likely keep me in a deficit.

and TWO - it'll make the rest of prep much more manageable.

But man. Today was a bad day.

Going to bed pretty quick - hopefully I'll be feeling better in the AM cause I gotta crush a leg session and I'm legitimately worried for myself (I'm saying this while laughing because - it's MY CHOICE to be in prep. I did this to myself.)

I've come too far to turn back now - so we just gotta putting one foot in front of the other (that was my mantra on my hike today haha)

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